Housewife Ho-Down

I've recently become a bit addicted to the "Real Housewives" shows on Bravo. I'd always avoided the OC gals like the collagen-injected plague, but it turned out this week that there was always an episode on when I got home from work. I left it on as background noise while wandering the interwebs, and before I knew it I was hooked. Perhaps it was the natural magnetism of all that silicone that drew me in, but it was more my routing for Vicki. I sat through three torturous episodes, waiting for someone to realize she's the only person on that show with any sense of reality... Sort of.

Nobody ever did. I think the words "job" and "work" caused a short in their circuits. It's really the only explanation for Lynne's hair.


It's called finishing balm, sweetie. Give it a shot.

The Jersey housewives were a given. I watched them religiously every Tuesday night when it was on.



... then the reunion special, the deleted scenes special and the deleted scenes special part two. I think I missed the third. Was there a third? That's the thing about women from the Garden State. We don't shut up.

Ever.

Atlanta Housewives? I was Team Nene from episode one!



Perhaps Kim could sell Lynne one of her wigs to hide all that terrible frizz.

I was always indifferent to the NYC Wives. They lost me at Countess. Like, is she serious? It's like the Maestro episode of Seinfeld. Then again, I refuse to answer to anything but "Her Majesty" around the house.

(I wish.)

Anyway, I'm giving them a second chance, because I've picked up an interest in Bethenny through promos and commercials. I'm 20 minutes into my second episode and I already want to be her when I grow up.



"Hold up there, Countess. I'm gonna need a minute of silence." She's my effin' hero!