Nov 12, 2010

Perhaps Whoop-Ass Comes in a Pop-Top?

Tapioca pudding.

Where has it been all my life?

I’m not quite sure what it’s made of, and I don’t know what those little orbs of yummy floating around inside it are, but I’m hooked.  I can’t keep my face out of the stuff and that is a problem.  I was briefly relieved of my addiction this week when we ran out of it at work, but a couple days later one of the cooks turned up with a vat of it so big I could have sat inside and eaten my way out.  I hadn’t been so happy since that surprise sale at the Steve Madden outlet.

Anyway, I’m afraid that this new tapioca addiction of mine is going to hinder all the weight-loss progress I made.  I was discussing my little dilemma with a friend over coffee (There may have been pie.  I admit nothing!) when they suggested that I take up some form of martial art. Um… Have we met?

I probably should start actually working out, though.  Especially since this tapioca thing is clearly going to destroy me.

The truth is, I get bored at gyms.  It’s repetitious and boring and I stopped wasting my money on memberships years ago.  The last time I tried, I dropped a ridiculous amount of cash to join one of those fancy-pants casino spas, then spent more time in the hot tubs and steam rooms than anything else.  To be completely honest, I only remember passing the actual gym part of the spa on my way to the sauna.  What I need is something more structured and disciplined that will actually hold my interest.

I took a kickboxing class for a while when I was like 22, but that was a long time ago.  I think these days I may need an actual can opener to get that can of whoop-ass open (Electric, please).



Stacy's Snippets said...

Oh No You DIDN'T! Ugh...I HATE tapioca. It's like eating a little bowl of snot floaties.

I'm sorry...I usually feel like we are Jersey Soul Sisters...but I gotta tap out on this one.

Em Static said...

Haha! Sorry to disappoint you. I'd never had it before last week and for some reason it hooked me... As long as I don't think too hard about what the the "snot floaties" are.

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

I heard the floaties were fish eyeballs...but girl, you love what you love! Good luck with martial arts, can't wait to see a picture of you breaking a board in half with your head!

Anonymous said...

Calories out > Calories in. That's all you need to remember. Gyms should bore you because they are a scam when advertised for weight loss. Walk 5 miles or ride a bike for a 1/2 hour to an hour daily. Same difference.

I knew this stick thin girl who felt she needed to lose more weight, so she joined a gym. THEN she complains that she is gaining weight. No frigging crap considering she's building muscle!

It always amazes me how complicated people make eating healthy. There is no need for a strict diet that you're going to fail in a week anyway. Don't eat foods stuffed with sugar. Ie: every american food on the shelves, yes, even Special K. Sorry ladies. Don't eat junk food daily. And move around.

It's not as difficult as everyone makes it. Everyone being America's lazy fatties.

Em Static said...

MHWTV: Fish eyes?!?! Gross! Thanks for the visual. I'll keep it in mind next time temptation comes calling.

I don't know about breaking boards with my head, but I checked out the place suggested to me... Seems like a bunch of dudes just trying to prove their dude-ness.

Anon: (From facebook?) I don't know about walking five miles a day, but I've got my activity levels way up. My curves are getting back to where they need to be.