Feb 10, 2010

I Can Has a Sedative?

I just made a total ass of myself.

I know... I know... Try not to look so surprised. :/

If there's one thing I'm never going to get used to in this neighborhood, it's all the random dogs I see wandering around. Perhaps I'm still used to life in the city where everyone had an apartment, and their dog's didn't see the light of day unless it was securely on a leash or running around the dog park. Around here everyone's got a house with a yard, and they (logically) simply let their dogs go play out in those yards. The problem with back yard doggies is: They become good escape artists.

Since I moved here I've been surprise-doggied by a German Shepard, a Husky, a Basset Hound (not so scary), and a Golden Retriever. I have yet to get used to this. I'm sure it has something to do with that incident back when I was 17. While walking home from the store one afternoon I was "surprise-doggied" by a Rottweiler who had escaped from his pen and was very very irritated with me for wandering too close to his yard.

I believe my exact thoughts were: I'm just gonna throw these underpants away when I get home.

It's not that I'm scared of dogs. I'm not. I love dogs. I prefer dogs over any other pet one can own. I've owned dogs. I even had a few playful moments with a friend's incredibly ominous looking pitt bull who seemed to enjoy nibbling on people's noses as a sign of affection.

What I'm trying to say here is dogs per se are not my problem.

Having a large black lab hidden under the cover of night pop out from behind our front hedge while I'm trying to enjoy some fresh air (i.e. I'm a dirty smoker.) is a Very. Big. Problem. So big, in fact, that I'm likely to just about injure myself trying to get through the front door after having said large black dog surprise me.

Nothing says "I shouldn't go out without my helmet" like smacking face-first into the front door because it didn't open as fast as I was trying to move, subsequently causing the residents of my house to come running, only to find me trembling and babbling about the hound of Hell that's about to tear us all to shreds. The Cerberus, however, turned out to be the neighbor's perfectly friendly black lab that just wanted to wag his tail and say hello.

Fantastic. I've created a new lol creature. The lolCerberus.


Homesick Cajun said...

Girl our neighbors have a pitbull that gets out all the time! Scares me to death! The damn thing is deaf too so it never hears when they're trying to call her to come back...makes for some comical events for me to watch!

B Sparkly said...

Now you need to carry an umbrella and a stick at all times while out. Very funny! Thank you for the laugh:)