Oct 20, 2009

Where The Whiny Things Are

Before we get started, I have an announcement to make.

For anyone interested, I'm currently organizing an angry mob to storm the gates of Spike Jonze's house this coming Friday night with a possible post-lynching pit stop at Dave Egger's home should time and weather permit.  A coffee and finger snacks meet-and-greet will be held an hour before we leave in the cafeteria of the local Presbyterian Church on Main Street.  Please bring your own pitch-forks, rusty old rakes and torches as I don't have enough of these things at my disposal for everyone.  Donations of lighter-fluid, ropes and large rotten tomatoes will be greatly appreciated.  The sign-up sheet for this event is hanging out in the hallway.  Thank you.

Yeah, so it probably goes without saying Man and I went to see Where The Wild Things Are last night.  We even paid the extra few dollars to see it at the IMAX theater in Harahan so my disappointment could be delivered to me in sharp three-dimensional colors and realistic sound.

I don't know... Sometimes I wonder if things like this are a little over my head, but I still can't figure out where in the ten sentences of the original book did it say that the Wild Things were emotionally needy, socially inept, co-dependent and slightly schizophrenic boorish things prone to getting butt hurt and whiny during the one (and only!) wild rumpus in the whole movie.

I also never read that the Wild Things got romantically involved with one another, let alone suffered bad breakups where both parties acted like angst-ridden teenagers, storming off to lament alone, leaving a trail of broken posessions and terrible cliche' in their path.  Frankly, that one girl (Did WT's even have a gender?) was a grungy flannel shirt and a copy of  "Pretty Hate Machine" away from being the quintessential pain in the ass alternative chick of 1992.

You make this all go away....

No, seriously, could you?  'Cuz this sucks!

I understand what Spike was trying to accomplish with this movie, but that just serves to annoy me further.  Not everything needs to be a social commentary.  If I wanted to be preached at about the state of today's affairs I'd have gone to see Michael Moore's latest self-slap-on-the-back docu-ganda. I went into WTWTA wanting to be entertained, not chided for living in a world of broken homes and indifferent siblings.  I expected to be brought back to a time when imagination was the key to escape, to happiness, to various worlds of joy and abandon.

Frankly, any child who would imagine a world of awkward moments and sniveling co-dependence to escape to is seriously disturbed and should be evaluated by a professional when he gets home from the Whiny Things' Isle.


Baxish102 said...

Good stuff, problem is I could have watched this movie for two more hours. Maybe the DVD will have a special edition with the music and talking edited out and replaced with grunts and Wild Thingish grunts and howls. I really think a treatment like "Cast Away" had would have worked with this movie. An hour of Max playing with The Wild Things and minimal script would have worked just fine, and it would have stayed true to Sendak's original intention. I had a front row seat to divorce and I know that you have gotten an unfair hand too a couple of times, we got over it and have a healthy-ish relationship. Too many escape routes these days, and not enough demanding that people JUST GET OVER IT.

Ann On and On... said...

Last week we were traveling across the US and heard Over and Over about this movie.... I now think you should have been another guest speaker. Well written and certainly convincing.

Welcome to SITS!

Julie said...

Thanks for the review. Just the previews left me scratching my head...glad I missed the whole thing.

Suzanne Westover said...

YES. (In reference to your Lady Blogger Comment.) The Answer is YES, I READ MINDS.

Also, I wrote a funny poem today on THIRTY. I didn't know you were having a bad day, but now consider it my gift to you. Especially the photo of Stephen Colbert in full Olympic attire. That should perk you right up.